How to Have Tough Employee Conversations
Difficult conversations about performance issues are unpleasant but critical parts of a manager’s job. Follow these tips for conversations that will not only go more smoothly but also help bring about mutually positive outcomes.
Be prepared.
Knowing what you plan to say can ease your stress and help ensure you stay on topic. While you shouldn’t speak from a script, you should have a list of points to cover. You can incorporate these points into the formal documentation you provide to the employee.
You should go into the meeting with specific examples, facts and data to support your performance concerns. This will help keep things clear and objective while supporting a measurable path to improvement.
Be mindful of employee privacy.
No one likes to be told they aren’t measuring up, and your conversation may bring up strong emotions. Despite efforts on both sides to keep things calm and professional, your employee may respond with tears, embarrassment or defensiveness. It’s only human.
Choose a private space for your conversation and schedule it near the end of the day. Your employee may struggle to contain their emotions while interacting with coworkers or customers. Having the meeting before the end of their workday allows them to absorb the information in their own environment. Not only is this more comfortable, but it can help prevent workplace distractions and distress.
Lead with empathy and mutual problem-solving.
A professional demeanor still allows for empathy. Let the employee know you care about them as a person and as a team member. It’s in both your best interests that they do well.
Frame the meeting not as a negative feedback session but as a constructive conversation focused on helping the employee succeed. Don’t be afraid to ask: “What can we do to solve this together?”
You may hear excuses … but you may also learn there are legitimate contributing factors to the performance issue you can help alleviate. Is a usually punctual employee now chronically late due to a childcare change? Maybe you can adjust their schedule. Is the employee overwhelmed with competing demands? Perhaps a rebalance of the workload or additional project management training is in order.
Clear is kind.
Nice is not the same as kind. Avoiding honest feedback to prevent hurt feelings (on their side) or discomfort (on yours) can ultimately cost you both.
Your employee can’t improve their performance without clear direction and measurable goals. While it may feel nicer to use phrases like “I really want you to…” or “maybe you could try to…”, hedging your language in this way may lead your employee to believe the issue isn’t serious.
You don’t have to be brutally frank, but you should be concise, upfront and — most importantly — crystal clear on what you expect moving forward.
When it comes to feedback, favor facts — not feelings.
Some aspects of employee performance are subjective. That’s just how humans operate. You may have strong feelings about how an employee should perform rooted in your own experiences and work ethic.
However, subjective and unspoken expectations are a moving target. Employees need objective metrics on which to improve.
Focus on specific behaviors, not personality. If your feedback starts with “I feel like…” it’s time to dig deeper and reframe. Let’s look at some examples.
Subjective feedback: “I feel you aren’t dedicated to this job.”
Why you might feel that way: The employee does their core job, but they don’t seem as eager as their teammates. While almost everyone else arrives early, they are tardy a fair amount of the time. Other teammates frequently sign up to present on topics they are passionate about during the Monday kickoff meeting, but this employee doesn’t. All employees are required to participate, though dates are not strictly assigned.
Objective feedback: “Over the past two months, your late arrivals have increased from occasional to three out of five days per week. The arrival times have increased from just a few minutes to 15 minutes. While I understand that delays can happen, the company expects all employees to be on time and ready to work at 8 a.m. I also want you to sign up for and present during at least one Monday kickoff meeting every three months.”
Subjective feedback: “I feel like your time management needs improvement.”
Why you might feel that way: The employee doesn’t use your company’s project management platform as required, so you have little visibility into their workload. They often miss deadlines.
Objective feedback: “You need to fill out and maintain your task calendar daily and reply to every inquiry regarding project status. We can provide additional training on the project management software if you need it. Your next three assignments must be completed by the deadline. If there is a reason you can’t meet the deadline, email me at least three days prior so we can work together to find a solution.”
Set expectations and follow-ups.
Unclear objectives will tank the possibility of employee improvement. And without follow-ups, the conversation may go in one ear and out the other.
Provide:
- Action items to complete or metrics to meet
- Follow-up plan
- Re-evaluation date
- How they should request support if needed
Ensure the employee has a copy and that you file the document appropriately. This isn’t just to cover yourself. It’s in both your best interests if the employee knows what’s expected of them.
